I’m a ‘broken home’ baby

Hello! Welcome to another blog post 😊 As Covid-19 runs wild around the world, many families have no choice but to stay at home. The very place that is meant to be a safe haven and the only place you can truly be yourself, is for some, very much broken.

In today’s short post, I want to write to you about something that some families face and as a result, has broken the home – leaving its members fragmented. While growing up, I shared much comfort and solace with many friends because coincidentally we were all in the ‘same boat’ (mum and dad separated) and we could really sympathise and emotionally support one another. In this place, I learnt how to be independent quite early on in my teens, learning how to manage my finances, while longing for a stronger family unit when I finally became a mother.

The strange thing was some of my friends who did live with both mum and dad had troubles of their own and I used to find this really bizarre because in my teen-mind, that was the ideal family dynamic. Well, the truth is, you can be apart of a nuclear family as the parent or child and still not be happy or content.

So, what then is a broken home?

A family is not just broken because mum or dad is completely absent or in and out of your life, as we have accepted as its definition but broken homes are as a result of the absence of love. A kind of love that knits all things together, regardless of how big the house is or the state of your bank account.

I used to blame my dad so much for some of my childhood experiences. The broken promises and lack of support etc. And maybe he was responsible, maybe if he did what he should have done, we would have had a better life as a nuclear family unit. Maybe if… maybe if… but I came to understand and accept that I didn’t receive what I had hoped for and that’s ok, it doesn’t change my ability to become the person I want to be or provide the kind of lifestyle I envision for my own family.

Honestly, I’ve heard too many of the following statements over the years by many young ladies.

“My dad just wasn’t there for us”, “My dad let us down and this is why I am the way I am”, “My mum was too this or too that…” or how about this one – “I want my child to have a relationship his father because I didn’t know mine”.

#PressPlay

You do know that it doesn’t have to be this way right? You can break that cycle! You can move past what happened to you and not become a casualty of your parents unfortunate circumstances. Perhaps that was the best they could provide. When you remove the tags you placed on them, you will see that you are a person just like they are. A person wanting to do better, be better and one day, if not now, provide a beautiful life for your own family.

Our childhood experiences really play a critical role in shaping the reminder of our lives – just deep that for a moment. Those life experiences fashion our mindset, how we view and handle opportunities as well as the labels we tag ourselves with. Unfortunately, many adults have lasting negative physiological effects from broken family relationships, resulting in them becoming carbon copies of what they went through. This is really sad.

During the #lockdown, you can make it your mission to be free from all things preventing you from moving forward. You can break the clay that has dried up around you, labelling you as your fathers son. However – watch this now – in most cases, this starts with forgiveness. Letting go of the past with all your heart and embracing what is ahead of you. A gift which only has your name on it is waiting in your tomorrow so please don’t be your own enemy of progress.

I actually speak about a very personal experience on my YouTube channel of how I broke that cycle! I will leave the link at the end of this post, if you’re interested.

So, I leave it with you. The ball is in your court. No more excuses. No more blame. You are not a broken home baby! You are you’re own person and your destiny is not defined by your parents, broken promises or unfortunate experiences but it’s written by the hand God, in his perfect will for your life.

I hope you enjoyed today’s blog post. Please feel free to leave your comments and hit the ⭐️ tap. Thank you for reading and I will write to you soon!

Catch up on my last blog here and watch my story on forgiveness here

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